Heard somewhere that, love just touches, live briefly and then vanishes, leaving behind sweetness that lingers in our breath ....for lifetime…so very true...and I got this beautiful feeling with him…during those walks, those tiny raindrops, those sunsets, those trail with orange and brown leaves( all so virtual though)…. I am too scared to let it go….but i know..cant hold it anymore...how long can you try to hold that sand in your hands....how long can you expect those sandcastles to be there....how long can water bubble stay....all of this has to come to an end....just like this relationship....

thought that it is gonna last lifetime...but i was so very wrong....such relationships are meant to end like this....but never thought that the death would be so silent, though i have always loved silence but this time around...i want to shout from my roof top that i am broken...i am hurt and i am angry...

I gave so much to this relationship and was always sure that I will never meet this guy who has made me fallen in love...without even seeing each other..( my intution was giving me a hard time, that everything is not gonna be the same once we meet) but he convinced me that if we meet, this relationship would get to its next level.......and it was indeed....he travelled half across the globe, crossed seven ocean, just to see me...(my god still cant believe this) and gave me a day, which i will cherish for the rest of my life...and nothing of the sorts that seems obvious to prople...happened...we were never in this relationship for physical pleasures....just being together was enough....

but now as if everything has changed....i m feeling this guilt, and probably he too...after meeting that that no matter how strongly we feel for each other...we cant take it anywhere...as we are married...and so called happy with our respective partners...(seven years into the marriage and never thought i would fall for somebody...i dint even see...destiny they say)

why did it happen...still not able to accept that it is moving away...that things are not same...sometimes it gets so difficult to deal with my overwhelming emotions that i feel they'll eat me to death...and sometimes i just want to run away...so far that i cant even have to bear myself)far from myself...but that is just not possible....dealing with emotions was never so difficult....

i never wanted to get into this relationship...it all just happened..tried to protest but my whole being just got so carried away that i couldn't contol...and now when its coming to an end i am as desperate as a person can get....

dont know wat to do...my life is all messed up....

i think i am paying too high a price for falling....